Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Meaningful Conversation

I love to have conversations with depth.

I consider them meaningful.

Meaningful to me is hearing about dreams, ideas, career highs and lows, tiny joys in life right now - I've probably noticed the big ones. And I'm amazed how people light up when asked to share their deeper thoughts.

Let me explain. We took two of our older grandchildren out for dinner. On the way to meet them at the restaurant I pulled out my tiny spiral notebook (which I always keep in my purse nowadays) and jotted down a few questions I hoped to steer our conversation around.

One of final questions may surprise you, I know it surprised me and them. First you need to know these are two grandchildren in their early twenties and I asked what their thoughts were about death. (We had a tragic death in our family a little over a year ago.) I already knew both are Christians and believe in a joyous after-life. I won't tell you their answers but they were fascinating.

By the way have you had that conversation with people in your life when it can be a distant, interesting topic, not when someone has terminal disease.

Other questions were: Highlight of our family times over the years, describe a typical day in your life, joys of the past year for birthday dinners (which this was also) and anticipations for the future, relationships with friends, travel dreams, etc.

Just ordinary talk really but from my family counseling experience I know a lot of families don't talk much about them.

The Emotional Intimacy Reviver for spouses to ask each other meaningful questions each week is always free on my website.

Why do I like to give away the Intimacy reviver I designed and copyrighted? Why do I love giving away the ebooks I've written? Flowers are free. God's truth is free.  I've had a wonderful family life for half a century so why not share the few tidbits I've picked up along the way?

My Grandparent's ebook is free today Wednesday on amazon. A Super grandparent simply tries to love well. No one does it all super least of all me, but we can give it a go as best we can.