Tuesday, February 13, 2024

  



Valentine’s Day, our special twenty-four hour celebration  of love, has arrived. What a powerful four-letter word! And what an extraordinary force love is! 

 

On this Valentine’s Day I encourage you to make loving well your highest priority. Of course we send remembrances of cards, flowers, but it’s great to speak words of love all throughout the year. What a privilege to love people as we go through life - a spouse, parents, children, grandchildren, dear friends - their presence in our world brings deep joy.

 

The greatest Lover ever is our Creator and we’re made in His image. It’s His love we model when we tenderly treasure one another. We cannot “over love” by its true definition, which is caring for the welfare of your beloved even more than your own. This mean no smothering love but freeing love, respecting your loved one and urging him or her on to become the best person possible. Love is fuel to help you survive and thrive no matter what happens around you. 

 

The truth is my heart will always long for my 60-year-plus love affair with my husband, Wayne, even though my soul knows I cannot see him again on earth. I’m never completely without the desire to return to my former married life. Yet, I have a God-given incentive to pursue new experiences. I pray for the gift of holy laughter again. I always taught the people I counseled that God wants us to rejoice in Him no matter what. We are to live with joy and serenity and clothe ourselves with kindness and compassion, so I try. As I look for a plus in my husband’s departure, I can see one glowing in the darkness: my love for God, my intimacy with him has become ever greater. 

 

When I’m in church, and see in a row ahead of me a man put his arm around his wife or a couple holding hands as they walk in, it makes me happy, not sad. For a couple seconds, as I see their tender touch, I recall the love I had. Marriage is finding another imperfect being to join with in your imperfection, and allowing God to perfect the two of you. This can only happen when God is central in your life. Always He is to be our greatest love! 

 

Happy Valentine’s Day to all of you lovers whose life is blessed as mine is today by memories of love, and to those who are praying for their future to find someone to bestow their love upon, and for those who are in the midst of a precious union, celebrate moment by moment your love! 

 

Happy Valentine’s Day to God the Father, Jesus His Son and the Holy Spirit!

And Happy Valentine’s Day to you my friend.

 

1 Corinthians 13:13 “So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three, but the greatest of these is love.”

WRITING UPDATE

 

To give your marital love a boost, please check out my Intimacy Reviver free on my YouTube page (JudithRolfs). It will enrich your love affair whether you’ve been married one month or 50 years. This simple communication tool can strengthen the bond between you. 

 

To become ever more intimate with God consider using my Jesus Time 365 Love Notes of Wonder and Worship, devotionals for your daily prayer. I wrote them for readers to draw into greater intimacy with God. A reader recently sent me this message, “I’m currently using this as my devotional for the third year. Daily I find new nuggets to bless me.”

 

I’m excited to say that I’ve resumed my writing again, and am nearing completion of my next mystery novel. It has many twists and turn and is set in England and Scotland. I’m eager for you to read it. Also, I’m working on a grief book to help those who, like me, have lost a beloved spouse. I appreciate your prayers that these projects will honor God and bless readers.

For more information on my books, blogs and videos visit:

https://drjudithrolfs.com/

 

Friday, December 22, 2023

A Perfect Gift


 A Perfect Gift

I have a stack of gifts around me waiting to be wrapped, but I’m stopped by a thought that hits me like a thunderbolt. What gift have I selected to give Jesus this year? 

If I were one of the three kings, what would I be bringing?


The only gift I can think of that might be of value is my gift of acceptance – living each remaining day of my life fully aware of its challenges, but with total acceptance of God's will. 


Is acceptance what Jesus pondered in that Gethsemane garden 33 years from his birth when He willingly embraced the cross that was his destiny? Didn’t He offer the father His gift of total acceptance? How well Jesus modeled this for me and you!


Often we must live with things that cannot be changed. What sweetness comes when we offer Jesus our gift of acceptance. This requires courage, because often what must be accepted is truly quite hard, like living without my beloved husband. Yet, whatever has happened to me, I choose to embrace because Almighty God has allowed it. 

 

Perhaps you have situations in your life you need to accept also because they are unchangeable. Amazingly, when we give Jesus this gift of acceptance, as is His customary style, He gifts us back with far more than we give. 

 

Acceptance brings gifts of serenity, hope and peace, priceless treasures that don’t fit beneath the tree, but remain with us wherever we go. 


“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” Romans 15:13

 

Merry Christmas to you dear family and friends. 

Merry Christmas, Jesus!

May this be your holiest and happiest Christmas ever!

Tuesday, November 28, 2023

Christmas Light

The Light

 

Remembering a Christmas long ago. How dark my life was and how empty although materially rich. I was seeking truth and illumination about the significance and purpose of my life. 

 

My path was often dark because I couldn’t find meaning in the ordinary things of this world. Something in my spirit sensed there must be more and I found my more in Christ. His never-ending light and love go hand-in-hand. When I live in His light, I know love. It’s all very natural and yet mystical at the same time. I know my Lord, the giver of light, is my supreme giver of love.

 

I better understand the celebration of Christmas, too, as the light of Christ entered the world.

 

His light has never been extinguished through many seasons and trials since. It’s the light that has illuminated my path when there was no other brightness. Yes, I’ve known sadness, and pain during many seasons since, but it cannot quench my brightness, unless I allow it and I refuse. Darkness has no power.

 

No wonder I love the light of Christ. This season I remind myself when I turn on a light switch to be thankful that Christ is the light of my world and the light of the entire world. Christmas is all about light.

 

I remember that Christ’s light could never be put out, even though the world tried in countless ways. As I age, it seems like the light grows brighter - maybe it’s simply that I’m ever more deeply attracted.

 

I love seeing all the outdoor lights twisted over houses and trees. I wonder what the brightness of light is like in heaven where my husband dwells. What kind of illumination is he experiencing? I so look forward to the time when I can communicate with him directly again. I miss our conversations so very much!

 

No matter how many more sunrises God plans for me to experience, I will proclaim always that He is the light. I am privileged to have Him shine upon me, so that I may reflect His light in my tiny sphere of existence for others. 

 

Yes, in my own small way, and in yours, we can be light-bringers, light-bearers. It’s such a privilege to be a light-bearer and to give witness to the light that is always among us. When we focus on the light, our anxieties drift away. Darkness and light cannot coexist. 

 

May this Christmas season be your brightest ever!

 

“When Jesus spoke again to the people, He said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.’” John 8:12

 

 “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness cannot overcome it.” John 1:5

 

 “You, LORD, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light.” Psalm 18:28 

 

 “In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:16 

 

Whether it’s cookie baking for friends, having a Christmas tea, helping children learn songs for a nativity pageant, wrapping a gift with love, we can always be shining the light of Christ. 

 

Our light has a great purpose - to glorify God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit so that all may know. May we do so magnificently!


WRITING UPDATE:

My author friend Becky Melby and I are having a pre-Christmas book sale event at Inspired Coffee – a wonderful coffee shop in Lake Geneva, great service, excellent coffee and other treats. It's tomorrow Wednesday Nov. 29 from 1-3 P. M. with a brief program. Writer Q & A and Christmas Tradition Tips from 1:30—2:00. Becky writes Christian inspirational romances. I’m honored to do this event with her. If you can't make it tomorrow my books are on amazon and at Angelus Gift shop in Walworth, WI.

 

Dec. 1st I’m privileged to attend a home group that is discussing my women’s book 52 Ways To Live, Love and Laugh As A Woman. I look forward to meeting these new ladies.


Wednesday, October 18, 2023

Changes in All of Life

 Change 

 

God must think change is valuable because He allows us to experience so much! We see change in seasons, but truly all of life is about change. 

 

We have children and adjust to each new stage. In a blink they grow into adults. 

 

We reach the point where our body is strong and mature – and aging begins. Ecclesiastes tells us there is a season for everything. 

 

Actually, I feel like my entire life has been riding the winds of change. I know the Maker of the Winds, so I am not afraid to go where He takes me. I’m amazed at all the places, and fascinating people who have been on this journey with me - new ones joining all the time. 

 

Sometimes change is easy. At times it’s scary when those wind gusts are particularly strong. Like learning how to live without my beloved husband now. I long to be content, but often must pull my emotions along. It helps to keep the end of the ride in sight - our final great destination. 

 

Fortunately, we can trust that God’s in charge of change. Our role is simply to embrace what is good, true and beautiful, to look for it and treasure it. And choose contentment wherever the Maker of the Wind takes us.

 

Psalm 46:2 reminds us that God's unchanging and protective presence is real.  “Therefore we will not fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea.”

 

 

*****

 

WRITING NEWS

 

Speaking of change, I have a new website judithrolfs.com

 

No speaking events until spring but lots of writing time - hopefully to complete my grief book. 


I was on the phone recently while a friend ordered from amazon a copy of my suspense novel Directive 99. He linked the downloaded book to his Alexa which started reading aloud for me to hear. I didn’t know this was possible because Directive 99 not an Audible book (like my Bullet in the Night Mystery.) So I guess any of my books now can be heard on a device - if being “read to” works best for your lifestyle, you may want to try this out. 

 

Cold weather is a great time for an intriguing mystery. Angelus Gift Shop in Walworth carries all four of mine (so does Amazon but I highly recommend shopping locally whenever possible.) 

 

Wishing friends and family a snuggly, warm fall!




 

Sunday, September 10, 2023

Seconds Matter


 Dear Friends, 

I long for more sun-bright days to stroll the lake path and be nurtured in Lake Geneva’s shimmering beauty as I reflect upon life. And non-life. After a year I still feel the pain of losing the man whose very presence on earth gave me energy and purpose. How does one survive without the voice that brought love and laughter daily?

 

Only with God and you, dear family (pictured in this photo) and friends, am I sustained. How I wish you could be enough to brighten my soul as Wayne did. Yet you each give much-needed comfort and I am grateful. I wrote the thoughts below as I pondered the seconds of life Wayne and I shared.

 

 

Seconds Change A Life

 

 

The bright sun lights my world and I gasp at its beauty. The end of summer’s splendor explodes into seconds of awareness inside me.

 

It only takes a second to lift my thinking to God, take note of Him, and express my awe at His creation and provision.

 

Seconds are time enough for gratitude and instant prayers.

 

One second turns a thought into a prayer and turns a concern into a step toward a solution. 

 

Worries dissolve when directed to the Sunmaker, who forms solutions where none seemed apparent.

 

Nothing is more precious than seconds of recognition. I am finite. He is not.

 

I pause to speak aloud praise to my Lord for His acts of creation, in our world and inside me. 

 

Seconds move on unstoppable - my gratitude for each surges forth.

 

These seconds scattered throughout the day lift my attitude and change my life. 

 

I am restored by these seconds of awareness. God is here.

 

May we all be intentional about the use of our seconds today to glorify the One who gives them to us.

 

 

WRITING AND SPEAKING UPDATE:

 

 

I will be at the Christian Women’s Connection in Lake Geneva Sept. 20th at Hawk’s View Golf Club and will have autographed books. For more info contact Anne at 262-607-6184.

 

BOOKS OF THE MONTH

 

Man in Command, 52 Ways To Be A great Husband and Dad

 

52 Ways To live, Love & Laugh As A Woman

 

God’s Near, Meditations To Inspire

 

"That you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing Him, being fruitful in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God." Colossians 1:10-11.


Tuesday, June 6, 2023

Spring Splendor

 The Beauty of God’s Creation  

I’m feasting on the beauty of creation as nature explodes all around me. Buds turn into blooms right before my eyes. There’s a promise of new life everywhere and a reminder that death cannot prevail – a visible demonstration, lest I doubt. My Hosta that looked ever so dead fooled me again. Midst the clumps of mulch and decayed leaves from last winter they birth strong shoots into my garden universe. These forever-welcome guests have graced my garden for many years. Their constancy is so impressive. What a great reminder of Jesus, the One through whom all nature came into being and the One who sustains all life. How He deserves our praise for His faithfulness! 

 

Jesus is always available with power to comfort and I need His presence desperately. My risen husband is celebrating his first spring with the angels and saints and surely Wayne has adjusted to this change easier than me.

 

I trust God will continue to guide me while I remain earthbound. These past ten months I have learned that grief is incredibly deep and physical as well as emotional. Just when I think I’ve fully adjusted to my huge loss, I get blindsided by heavy sorrow again. I miss being queen of my man’s life presiding over his kingdom – our home and family. That’s a hard position to surrender. But I will, I can, with God. 

 

I’ve started writing again and sending out monthly Thoughts on Fun, Faith and Family like this. I’m more mindful than ever how difficult life can be at times. It’s never perfect for any of us. When one calamity is laid to rest another rises. With four children, seven grands and four great-grands prayer remains my most constant practice. My 12 year-old, one-eyed miracle dog Miles is my treasured companion. What a blessing he is!

 

I pray you are blessed by the beauty all around you. 

May it invite a deeper awareness of God’s presence within you.

 

Job 12: 7-10

“But ask the animals, and they will teach you, or the birds in the sky, and they will tell you; or speak to the earth, and it will teach you, or let the fish in the sea inform you. Which of all these does not know that the hand of the LORD has done this?  In His hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind.”

 

My Featured Book of the Month

 

My ebook Truth For Teens is on sale today through June 13th for .99.

Amazon Reviews: “The teen years can be rough and it is important to not feel alone and/or confused. This great book contains simple and helpful truths about everyday life situations! I encourage everyone to read this!”

 

 

Sunday, May 21, 2023

Staying Informed Matters...

 

Directive 99 is the fictional suspense novel I started to write the evening I returned from a debate at Lakeland Hospital in Elkhorn, WI on the pros and cons of assisted suicide. A doctor from Milwaukee had debated a member of the pro-death Hemlock Society. The argument was horrifying - basically that the elderly were becoming a burden to the young. Through Directive 99, in story form, I describe what would happen in families and society if this became legal. I wanted to move minds and hearts to oppose the threat.  

 
Sadly, ten of the United States now allow the evil of legal assisted suicide. At present there are pending laws in other states to expand this unbiblical end of life by personal choice. Assisted suicide is the whim of a society that does not respect the personhood of the ill and elderly and the desire of governments that don’t wish to provide financial support for them.
 
When we diminish respect for one group we diminish respect for all. The practice is dangerous and unethical.  Directive 99 describes the clash of values assisted suicide presents. Sadly, the book is as relevant today as when it was written. 


 FREE COPY:
If you’d like to read Directive 99 you can get a print copy locally from Angelus Gift store in Walworth, WI or by order from amazon. But if you read e-books, I’ve arranged for the e-book to be free Monday, May 22nd and Tuesday, May 23rdDirective 99 can be downloaded free through amazon. You can read it on your I-phone or computer. 

I hope you’ll enjoy the romance and suspense in Directive 99 even as you acquire valuable concepts about the assisted suicide threat to all of us. Read Directive 99 and form your own opinion. Of course, also study what God‘s Word says - only the Creator of life knows when the purpose of one’s life has come to an end and He alone has the right to terminate it.
 
May Directive 99 help educate you in a memorable way so that you can become a voice speaking up for the life of our ill and elderly, as well as the unborn. 

Here are reviews of my novel Directive 99: 
 
“Great Read! This …could easily become reality in the not too distant future unless we are diligent enough to prevent it from happening.

“The story is so compelling that I had a difficult time putting it down once I started. It was almost scary how close to present day reality the story is.”
 
“Judith nails the gruesome possibility of government overreach and central planning gone crazy with a well written and compelling story.” 
 
“It's about the health care system and its implications for seniors. But there are other themes too, the couple's marital problems, having a career and family, religion and being true to oneself.”
 
Genesis 9:5-6: “For your lifeblood I will surely require a reckoning; of every beast I will require it and of man; of every man’s brother I will require the life of man. Whoever sheds the blood of man, by man shall his blood be shed; for God made man in his own image.”
 
*****
ON A PERSONAL NOTE:
 
I still struggle to define new life as a woman without my husband of 60 years. The problem is I loved my former life with Wayne. God continues to sustain me as I search for scriptures to strengthen my soul for this solo journey. You, my family, friends and readers have blessed me in countless ways with your message of support and your prayers. I’m forever grateful to you! As of this week, I’ve finally officially returned to work.
 
Today was my last day volunteering at Smiles. I’ve enjoyed assisting this excellent organization help handicapped individuals through equine therapy.
 

Happy spring with its sweet taste of summer!!!!!!!

Monday, May 15, 2023

Building Strong Families...

A Note for You  from Judith Rolfs

It seems appropriate the day after Mother's Day to think of the role moms have in the lives of their families. This ties in well with the passion of my life to help women [and men] build strong families. 

 I was the cover story on Lake Magazine's April edition in Lake Geneva. They describe my work writing for, counseling and speaking to families. I'm humbled,  honored and grateful to all those who have given me an opportunity through my words and YouTube channel to build into their lives these many years. 
I'm not sure you can enlarge and read the article below - I hope so -



 



For more information please check out my author page:

https://www.amazon.com/stores/Judith-Rolfs/author/B001KI0KLU?ref=ap_rdr&store_ref=ap_rdr&isDramIntegrated=true&shoppingPortalEnabled=true

My thanks to the excellent editor of the Lake magazine Rachel Worland for featuring me.

Tuesday, February 14, 2023

Happy Valentine's Day!

  

 

Today, Valentine’s Day I came across this article on married love my husband wrote 18 years ago for the men in our church. I’m sharing it with you on my blog. Gals, I think you’ll like it too! May you be blessed!

 

Marriage by God’s Terms by Wayne Rolfs

 

Valentine’s Day, the day we celebrate love. I, along with you other married guys, will be buying a card, flowers or candy for the wife God has given us. Judith will receive one peach rose for sure (her favorite) with perhaps a few words of what she means to me. 

 

They say life is all about relationships. After 42 years of marriage, I’m still learning what God had in mind when he said a man will cleave and cling to his wife becoming one flesh, and how to do it. (Genesis 2:24) Here are a few thoughts that God and others have taught me. I confess I’ve been a slow learner. 

 

As Christians, we know marriage was God’s idea. It then must be true that a good marriage will honor God. It’s God giving one person to another to be united with God in love. But when two imperfect people come together, the marriage isn’t always what we had hoped. Although it’s the closest bond two people can have, it can be exhausting, unnerving, infuriating and painful. Believe me, I’ve been there. When we got married the romantic attraction was strong but I was in it mainly for selfish motives often operating on demands and expectations. At this point, I was not a Christian and frankly, at times our marriage was a disaster. 

 

Seven years later, as a Christian, I found out what God wanted. He changed my heart as I prayed to Him to make me the man he wanted me to be. Similar to my spiritual conversion, my marital conversion led me on a gradual path of God-directed change. By God’s grace, He gave me a special love for Judith that grows with each passing year. I’m far from perfect and we still have skirmishes, but our love and commitment is bigger than our problems. Praise God! 

 

God has taught me that mutual respect is one of the most important things in a marriage. Ephesians 5:33 advises, “Let the wife see that she respects her husband.” However it can’t be demanded. We have to show her with our words and behavior that we deserve respect. We need to love and nurture our wife. She needs our emotional intimacy - intimate communication - to be there for her, the one she can turn to for whatever - to be a safe haven where she knows she will be protected and cared for when necessary. Security comes from God, but often speaks through a husband’s love. That’s the work of love God has given us. 

 

Judith, at our weekly sharing times, often tells me about something she noticed me to cause her to respect me. It could be with the children and grandchildren, neighbors, my walk with the Lord, or just being who God has called me to be. Christian leadership for her husband as defined by our spiritual life, humility and servant hood. I think that that’s what wives are looking for in their husbands. 

 

God’s Word says my marriage to Judith should be a total commitment of unconditional agape love - the love that God has for us for the rest of our lives. It is a covenant relationship with my being willing to sacrifice my needs for those of Judith. No strings attached. Only God can enable me to love Judith with covenant love - to treat Judith as God treats me. Ephesians 5 tells me to love my wife as Christ loves the church and love my wife as my own body or self. 1 Corinthians 13 tells me about God’s kind of love, the type of love I need to try to practice. 

 

1 Peter 3:7 says husbands be considerate, (thoughtful, understanding, caring, selfless) as you live with your wives and treat them with respect (honor, esteem, reverence, value) so nothing will hinder your prayer life. Peter says if my relationship with my wife isn’t right my prayers will not be effective because my relationship with the Father, among other things, depends on a loving relationship with my wife.

 

Try getting into a giving match with your wife. Happiest couples I have met are those who try to out give each other. 1 Corinthian 7:33 says make it a habit to give thought as to how you may please your wife. Proverbs 16:29 states “Pleasant words are honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” What pleasant words do our wives need to hear from us today? Every day? 

 

The Bible makes it clear that the Father desires an intimate relationship with us and also for us with our wives. Judith has become my best friend and I share my deepest thoughts and concerns and feelings with her. God’s plan is for us to know our wife’s love, and she ours, which then gives each of us a deeper appreciation of the Father and his love for us. Marriage can and should be the closest touch and glimpse we can have on earth of what heaven will be like. God is love and heaven is a place of love. (I especially like reading these words because my husband is now in heaven.)

 

What a blessing is available from God for husbands when married hearts touch physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Don’t be discouraged if your marriage is none of the things I’ve mentioned. Mine wasn’t either, but we have a wonderful God who will do for you what he has done for me if you let him. Let’s move forward in the coming year and encourage each other in His divine plan for our marriages.


Wednesday, November 23, 2022

Blessed Thanksgiving 2022

  

Gratitude shocks me at times – surging like a sudden storm through my head. I absorb with awe God’s power to create every atom and make all circumstances good in His way and time. Rays of sunshine shoot from the splendor of God to penetrate the forest surrounding my home and my heart. My praise overflows, blessed to live in a place I love among family and friends! What wild, amazing, God-designed flowers each person is in the garden of my life.

 

My deep thanks cut to the core when I observe real, recognizable events no man orchestrated and know, just know for sure, the action was God’s. His signs are ever present, if one but looks. 

 

Still, at times thanks-living can be hard. Like now, with my husband’s physical presence gone from earth. His love has given me exquisite moments of joy and deep agonies – who ever thought hearts could hurt so bad?  I work to focus on the sweet memories and glorious times with my man now in heaven, and give God praise for what we had.  Eventually, the wave of peace comes again.

 

How I appreciate the privilege of being helpful in someone else’s life, however minutely. To speak or write a word of truth into another person, to thrust a spear into debilitating depression or ignite a dead marriage with new life. How honored I am to be able to minister to God’s beloveds.

 

Thanksgiving is humbling. And “thank you” has many forms. Ordinary thanksgivings to God the great giver for His endless giving.  For simple items like carrots and dogs and emotional insights and human re-creations, too. Yay, God did it again. He alone gives significance and purpose to every moment.

 

May we each live daily with thanks to God seeping from our hearts and spilling from our lips.

 

Blessed Thanksgiving!

 

A favorite Scripture verse is: “1 Thessalonians 5:16-18. Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.”


*****

I so appreciate your prayers for God to be glorified and women blessed at my next speaking event - Grace Church’s Women’s Christmas Tea on Dec. 3rd.

 

Are you Christmas shopping for ages 9 & up? I’d love to have your children meet Tommy Smurlee and Grella Weller in their mystery fantasy 3 book series and experience their life-changing adventures.

Christmas Sale - Over 1/2 off

 

 Looking for a new devotional for 2023. Check out my Jesus Time, 365 Love Notes of Wonder & Worship

Christmas Sale - Over 1/2 off NOW







Wednesday, October 19, 2022

Life is Hard But God is a Real and Present Help

 

LOSSES ARE HARD! We all have them some time or another.  It’s the part of the human condition I like least.
 
Learning to do life without the love of my life these past two months has been SURELY the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It’s second in comparison only to what it might be like trying to find joy and meaning in a life without God. Even the thought is incredible.
 
Not by my choice am I in this place. I held my husband in my arms and nursed him for seven months when countless times it seemed as if it would be his last day on earth. I would have gladly continued caring for him forever.
 
God assures me in Psalm 139 that I can trust Wayne’s appointed time of death was known at his birth by His loving Father. I believe God had magnificent angels transport Wayne into His mansion of glory.
 
Wayne repeatedly said he didn’t want to leave me. I didn’t want him to! I couldn’t bear to see his pain with no hope of it ending. I understood fully that his only sadness was being without me for a time. I assured him I wouldn’t be long. I told him to wait for me near the gate. 
 
Wayne was so ready to meet Jesus face to face. He never doubted for a second that He’d be waiting for him. Accepting Wayne’s decision was my last and greatest act as his help-mate. 
 
Now all I have is the huge hole created by his absence. Nothing seems worth doing or significant. The pain I carry seems to double my body weight. Maybe others can’t see my heaviness, but I feel it every second.  
 
Wayne’s body on earth had ceased to be a worthy vessel for all he was. Wayne’s spirit longed to be free. I wanted that for him too. I knew his absence would hurt and I’d scarcely survive.
 
I pray you never have to face a loss of a beloved spouse, parent or child like this, but if you do maybe these thoughts below help.
 
SILENCE SOOTHES ME AS I WALK THRU THE HOUSE IN THE MORNING AFTER I AWAKE THAT I MAY HEAR THE VOICE OF GOD AND REMEMBER WAYNE.
 
SPEAKING PRAISES ALOUD TO GOD EACH MORNING AND NIGHT.
These are some of mine: Praising God that my beloved is fully able to hear, see, sing, run, golf, dance and that he is with God every moment. If he can’t be with me that’s the only place I can bear for him to be that I know is better.
 
Praising Jesus for being God of the universe. Not a sparrow falls to the ground without Him knowing and allowing it. He designed a life span of fullness of strength for each of us. (And He extended Wayne’s far beyond the majority.)
 
Praising Jesus that our children have lived into their fifties and sixties with a father on earth. How extraordinary is that!
 
Praising Jesus for a husband who cherished and loved me so deeply and expressed it in such beautiful ways through touch, gifts, words, his time and devotion.
 
Praising God that His Holy Spirit will guide me minute by minute to maximize the remaining time I have on earth.
 
SMALL ACTIONS HELP TOO LIKE SENDING A NOTE OF GRATITUDE TO SOMEONE FOR SOMETHING EACH DAY. I’ve been blessed to have been affirmed many times throughout my life and I know how encouraging this can be.
 
BEING WITH PEOPLE at least 1-2 hours each day even if it’s only sitting in a library or coffee shop. Yes, I am trying to stay busy.
 
SAVORING GOD’S BEAUTY AROUND ME. Lord what a marvelous day in the gorgeous Upper Gardens! Even as my tears flow softly I can see Your beauty all around me. I can only imagine what Wayne must be seeing.
 
WATCHING THE SUNSET EVERY NIGHT AND SPENDING TIME IN NATURE LIKE MY VISIT WITH THESE BEAUTIFUL HORSES.
 
TRUSTING JESUS is with me to help me overcome the challenges of each day. My greatest challenge is learning to thrive in loneliness. I walk into a room where Wayne should be, and pain clutches inside my chest and tears stream. Where they all come from I can’t imagine. This isn’t the life I know or want.
 
Only Jesus can help through horrendous losses. 
 
PRAYER: 
Lord, I pray You will show me what is to be my new schedule as a woman husbanded by God and I trust that You will continue each day. May I be a blessing to others even now. MAY MY GRIEVING ADULT CHILDREN TO FIND COMFORT IN YOUR PRESENCE.
 
Psalm 61:2 “From the end of the earth will I call unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.”
 
WRITING EVENTS UPDATE:
Not much new writing happening but I will be at the Angelus Shop in Walworth, WI for their Christmas Open House and a book signing. Nov. 12th. It’s always a lovely event. Writer friend Carol Paur will be there also launching her new book. My Unforgettable Stories For Kids and Tommy Smurlee/Grella Weller series makes great children’s gifts!

Sunday, September 11, 2022

 New Beginnings


 

I’d love to go back to this tea party day years ago, but life insists on pushing me forward into unfamiliar places. My husband Wayne recently entered heaven. Our granddaughter Anna began college this month along with her twin brother Joshua. And sadly I have begun a new, non-normal life as a woman husbanded by God. 

 

I now understand why there are so many Scriptures on God’s comfort when we hurt and I need every one! Along with the extraordinary kindness of you wonderful friends and loving family members I must figure out the daily-ness of doing life alone while grieving deeply. I’m not exaggerating when I say it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

 

These 10 Scripture verses speak to me and help me take each next breath:
Psalm 147:3 “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” 
Isaiah 40:1 “‘Comfort, yes, comfort My people!’ says your God.” 
Matthew 5:4 “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”
Matthew 11:28 “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” 
Romans 15:4 “For whatever things were written before were written for our learning, that we through the patience and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope.” 
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” 
Psalm 119:50 “This is my comfort in my affliction, for Your word has given me life.” 
Isaiah 49:13 “Sing, O heavens! Be joyful, O earth! And break out in singing, O mountains! For the LORD has comforted His people, and will have mercy on His afflicted.” 
1 Thessalonians 5:1 “Therefore comfort each other and edify one another, just as you also are doing.” 
2 Thessalonians 2:16-17 “Now may our Lord Jesus Christ Himself, and our God and Father, who has loved us and given us everlasting consolation and good hope by grace, comfort your hearts and establish you in every good word and work.” 

 

My prayer is Lord, please comfort me so that I may comfort others. Is there any reason for pain other than being able to help others to survive and to find a measure of joy and peace again? Whatever your difficult situation, I hope these verses will help you as well.

*****

 

My first little step out back into the world is Wed. Sept. 14, Lake Geneva Christian Women’s Connection luncheon. My author friend Delores Leisner and I will describe the books we wrote intending to bless men and women seeking more of God’s ways and less of self.

 

If you’ve checked my YouTube Channel lately, know that I hope to be adding soon to the free 30 videos already available on marriage and parenting. Thank you for subscribing.

 

As long as God gives me life, I know He has purpose for me. May I live it out well…

 

 

Sunday, July 17, 2022

Truth-Telling


When we’re lovers of Jesus, we have the privilege of carrying His love and truth to others. We do that through ordinary circumstances of our ordinary lives stamped with a super-ordinary mission upon our souls. 
And we speak truth lovingly when the need arises. 

In our culture today is a glaring mistruth -the misperception women have been told that aborting human life is a healthy choice. 

If we truly care about the health of the women of the world and want what’s best for them, we’ll replace the emotional hoopla over the end of Roe vs. Wade’s unconstitutional murdering of babies with truth. 

Here is the reality. Carrying a pregnancy to full term is natural and healthy for every woman unless a doctor clearly decrees her life is actually in danger. The benefits to completing a pregnancy are huge!

Reduced risk of MS

Multiple sclerosis, which affects the nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord, may be on the rise — in part, experts think, because many women have fewer kids. But having a baby cuts your risk of developing this autoimmune disorder in half, according to a small Australian study. And each pregnancy offered even more protection, with mothers of four or more kids slashing their risk by an astonishing 95 percent. 

During pregnancy, a woman’s immune system adjusts to avoid attacking the baby, and experts think this lower immune activity may reduce the inflammation that causes nerve damage. After childbirth, some of your baby’s cells remain in your body and may keep immune-system activity — and MS risk — down. Although doctors used to advise women with MS not to have babies, they now believe pregnancy actually reduces the risk of a relapse.

A lower risk of stroke

Stroke is a leading cause of death in women in the U.S., but one study found that postmenopausal women who breastfed were less likely to have a stroke than those who never breastfed. In fact, breastfeeding just one baby for at least six months can lower your risk of heart disease, as well as diabetes and high blood pressure.  One theory is the oxytocin released during nursing may have heart-healthy properties that ward off stroke.

Lower risk of ovarian and endometrial cancer

The hormonal shifts that occur during pregnancy and breastfeeding also protect against ovarian and endometrial cancer, and the more full-term pregnancies you have, the greater the benefit. Scientists are investigating how carrying a baby can reduce a woman’s risk of other cancers too. 

Easier periods

Good news for women with bad cramps: Having babies may bring you some relief in the long run. Many women find that their menstrual cramps are much less painful — or even nonexistent — after the birth of their first baby. The above info is from “Health Benefits of Pregnancy and Motherhood” by Maria Masters, Medically Reviewed by Jennifer Wu, M.D., F.A.C.O. G. on November 3, 2021. It’s only one of many articles listing the medical benefits of continuing with a pregnancy rather than aborting. This truth isn’t being spoken by radio, TV other social media so it must come from Christ’s truth tellers.

I can personally vouch for the mental, emotional and spiritual well-being of women who continue with a pregnancy rather than abort their baby. Over my thirty years as a mental health practitioner I have counseled numerous women who had abortions. I only wish you could hear their stories of deep regret, particularly among those who have subsequently had families and then realized the enormity of their loss.

The sense of loss can lead to depression, a form of post-partum blues that doesn’t stop. Statistics show many women have ongoing anger issues and other mental health problems after abortions.

I understand that a baby can be inconvenient or for whatever reason a woman doesn’t feel capable of raising a child. Then adoption is a wonderful life-giving, self-nurturing choice. We can provide resources to help women go through pregnancy with support and then help them gift the baby through adoption to responsible parents. The women will get the health benefits of going through pregnancy. It’s a win-win situation.


God’s natural plan is always to do good and not harm. Let’s stop telling women abortion is in their best interest. It’s clearly not! I love all God’s people and want the very best for them.

I hope you will ponder these facts and be a truth teller with me. Let’s consider the real well-being and health of women.

“The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters,  He refreshes my soul.” Psalm 23

*****

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Dr. Judith Rolfs

www.judithrolfs.com