Real Choice About Life

Lots of talk has been swirling about the news on contraception and abortion. I've been researching the history of contraception and recently responded to a fine young man's sincere questions about the topic.

First I need to say I believe everyone is free to make choices, some are good and others are harmful to themselves and others. That's the reality and at times the curse of the free will God gifts us with. I don’t presume to label anyone a sinner. Except for God’s grace I’m among the greatest of them all.

Now allow me to toss around some threads of truth I’m discovering. Interestingly there is an alternative method to contraception rarely discussed. Natural Family Planning has a 95-98% effective rate and it’s completely cost free control of conception. (This shouldn't be confused with the ineffective rhythm method of the 1970’s.) Incidentally not even contraceptives are 100% successful.

_{When I looked up the history of contraceptive teaching in the church I learned they mean no, never, for whatever reason. Now why might that be?}

_{Maybe, if you’re cynical as I am at times, you’d ask if it’s because they want more Catholics born to fill the ranks. Certainly that’s true of Muslim faiths. Then again, why wouldn’t God want more people? He loves and delights in each one of us.}

_{But is there something deeper? In my family counseling practice of many years, I found that God’s principles are ultimately good for the individual. Children are called a blessing in Scripture and our own experience with our two daughters and two sons certainly bears this out.}

Sadly we now have countries with populations moving to extinction.

Then on the other hand why is contraception deemed to be so desirable in our current culture? Is it because of men and women’s selfish nature that they’ll want to avoid the responsibility of caring for another human being. Or they want the freedom to be promiscuous without apparent consequences.

By the way I was amazed to learn that until the 1930’s all Christian churches opposed contraception.

I’m not in favor of a “government papa.” And I don’t want people telling me I have to do what I don’t believe is right. I'm opposed to paying through my taxes for someone to practice birth control or use abortifacients. The government argument seems to be, from what I can tell, it’s cheaper to provide birth control than to pay for the care of the kids later. Whoah! The govt. shouldn’t have to do either. We have churches and religious institutions and neighborhoods and front-line family members to help with child care and housing.

_{Jesus clearly said, “You will always have the poor among you.” AND he told us to go and feed them, care for the poor. And pay for their health care OURSELVES like the good Samaritan did, which the church has already been doing for decades at our Catholic/Christian hospitals where poor patients who can’t pay aren’t turned away.}

_{God calls on us, not a structure of government. Us, personally and corporately, but always a form of direct involvement [and we’re also supposed to take care of our parents when they’re old not expect government to handle this in the rare case they can't provide for themselves. See my mystery novel Directive 99.]}

_{Besides this argument that women can’t make it without government hand-outs demeans women. A woman may get pregnant but isn’t incapable of providing for her baby, and she has God and/or his human hands and feet on earth to do it. Government daddy needn’t take over, but does and he says just remember to vote for your government daddy at election time. The $30-50 a month, $600 per year per woman, for contraception by having the government pay is a free handout. I know this is tempting, if somebody’s passing out free stuff, why pay? It’s human nature. But is it right?}

_{Or how about this reason for contraception? My wife and I could afford another child, but I might have to give up some of my Saturday fun time to help out more and I’m not willing to do that just to participate in the sacred role of shaping of another human being. Or other self-centered reasons for denying life to a child like preferring a new boat.}

One reason I can’t fathom for not having kids is worry about money. I know when my husband Wayne and I left Schaumburg, IL for WI it was to serve God through our camp for kids. We gave up corporate retirement plans, all job security, etc. And He’s taking care of us exceedingly well in retirement. God can make a man rich or poor overnight. He did that for us. In the last two or three years before we sold our home, it multiplied to many times its original value. I know abandonment to the will of God an absolutely amazing way to live.

Next week, I’m the guest lecturer in a high school psych class and I’m going to say, "Think, my brighties, think of the motives and consequences of your actions." Many young people are a wonderful example of this. It’s awesome that they get involved with their opinions and are willing to share them.

_{I find all the people God made fascinating in some way. I love the uniqueness and passion God gives us all.} Only the Holy Spirit can impel our choices if we let him. He’s the only one who can change somebody’s thinking through His Holy Spirit.

_{But it’s the same story as Day One in the garden, people have got to choose if they want to submit to God being in charge or keep themselves at the controls. I’ve experienced God so amazingly when I’ve ventured out in trust that I’ve made my decision and I’m riding it to eternity.}

_{To the young among us and to the old: keep talking, keep thinking, and most important of all, keep your fire God-focused.}

Life, Death and Heaven

What an amazing weekend! Friday we attended a book club discussion with a fourth grade class and 20 adult men and women about Heaven is For Real. What beautiful insights the children had, how well they remembered every detail of Colton’s life. Sister Pam led the discussion about very tough subjects like why some children are not healed as Colton was, to which Wayne and I contributed thoughts.

The next day we spent with friends Joann and Jim in Charleston who asked us to minister to their dear friends battling cancer. Roger’s in his sixties and facing a life or death surgery in a few weeks for cancer the size of a basketball in his stomach.

Our new friends Roger and his wife Karen have had an extraordinary life. He’s a businessman, an artist, a musician, started and sold l6 successful businesses, skied almost everywhere in North America, and has traveled the world giving motivational talks and supervising the building of Christian churches. He’s survived open heart surgery and is filled with gratitude but still asking with arms wide open for God to extend his life, as he should.

While the six of us were eating dinner Joann got word that her 88-year-old Mom, Marie, died with total knowledge of Jesus and absolute surety that she was heading for heaven. I saw Joann’s mom a few months ago and she radiated Christ. Joann’s family reported that her Mom entered paradise peacefully from her sleep as she'd hoped.

We talked with Roger and Karen for about 2 ½ hours about the reality of God, His unconditional love and mercy, the delights and work in heaven and ended the evening with fervent prayer for Roger’s healing. (Roger asked us to pray for Joann and her family before we began to pray for him.) We all were very bold in our request for another 15 to 20 years for Roger just like Hezekiah in the Old Testament received.

Such sacred moments, such peace, such deep joy. There was nothing superficial about any of these conversations. An aura of confidence covered every holy moment. How I wish people could always talk so openly about what’s truly important.

None of us know the day or minute but we all know its coming. And we know our God has a plan we can place confidence in for the sleep of death and wake-up call in the divine realm. I’m more excited than ever. Until then I’ll keep talking about God and His fulfillment of purpose going on in every life surrendered to His lordship.

Love Always, Mom, subtitled How, When and Why God Heals Today is the story of our eighteen-year-old son’s successful battle with cancer. Glory to God he lives! It’s available on Kindle and Nook.

Mark 11:24 “Whatsoever you ask for in prayer, believe that you may receive.”

The Total Gift of Who You Are

I had lunch with Sarah Flashing a while back. She’s sort of a cultural watchdog as Director of The Center for Women of Faith in Culture. She shares my concern for females in 2012 that are being led to believe media lies about what will bring true happiness in life. I rarely see TV and movies motivating and equipping young women to live meaningful, satisfying and holy lives.

I emphasize holy – we don’t hear the word used much nowadays. Growing up I desired to be holy – perhaps it was reading the lives of the saints that inspired me. Now it seems girls and guys, too, focus on being popular and clever, more than questing for qualities like holiness and goodness.

I’m putting on my counseling cape to sound a warning. I’ve seen the tears and devastation when young men and women didn’t get genuine wisdom soon enough. Both sexes are bombarded with role models who disregard a holy lifestyle.

Careful grooming, laughter, dancing and dreaming, special friendships with guys/gals are all great. BUT what’s with this sex-texting and male/female friendship with “benefits” which diminishes both the giver and the receiver – sex outside the special bond of marital commitment is physical, emotional and spiritual dynamite. Run from it!

Developing one’s gifts and growing in holiness – how delightful is that! Many saints were far from prudes, but they had their goals clearly defined and reflected them in their behavior and attitudes.

Perhaps we older women can invite conversations with the young women we know about personal dignity and emotional tranquility along with compassion. Let’s discuss what’s to be lost by disregarding inner beauty and forgetting the sacredness of the total personhood God endowed in each man and woman.

A longing to please and honor God is truly a worthy priority. Holiness is made of such. Holy and being whole go together.

Leviticus 19:2
“Speak to the entire assembly of Israel and say to them: ‘Be holy because I, the LORD your God, am holy.

Please comment and share your ideas for encouraging holiness among men and women of all ages in our society. Young guys and gals, how do you guard the total gift of who you are?

A Woman’s Guide: 52 Ways To Choose Happiness & Fulfillment contains practical principles for living a joyful, God-honoring life with specific Scriptures and applications. Available at Christianbooks.com.

Salute to AA

Perhaps you’ve heard the term army brat… well I’m an AA kid.

Is there a finer philosophy to live a life by than Alcoholics Anonymous? Why? Because it’s the pure, unadulterated message of Jesus Christ. Humility, honesty and hope rolled in one. What’s not to like?

I still remember the day my mom joined AA.. I’d been called by my Dad who couldn’t leave work to go over to their house and let a visitor in. My mom had been in her room for days. When I opened the front door the woman brushed past me saying brusquely take me to her. She entered Mom’s bedroom and came out an hour later announcing she’d be back the next day to pick mom up and take her to a meeting. Before she left very kindly she looked at me, patted my arm and whispered in a soft tone, “It’s up to her, but she can be okay.”

My Mom started attending meetings regularly. The Serenity prayer appeared on our refrigerator door. Sure there were some setbacks like the time I attended an open meeting with her and to my utter embarrassment I realized after we arrived that she’d been drinking. I wanted to disappear through the floor when one of the leaders approached me and suggested I take her home.

The Big Book appeared on the coffee table and Mom talked about Bob and Bill as if they were immediate family members. Anyone within earshot of her heard about the twelve steps, nine of which refer to God/higher power. How fitting since in Him we live and move and have our being. Mom became a Christian for real and startled going to church. The first verse of Scripture that she learned was “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Phillipians 4:13) I was sooo proud of her.

In time the constant inner panic, the fear of what condition she’d be in when I came home, the horrible dread that blanketed every holiday lifted. My Mom’s compassion and sense of humor and enthusiasm for life reappeared. The world changed within our home and a precious aura of peace appeared.

I owe much to the fine men and women of AA who helped Mom and most of all to the God power that makes the program work. Because AA does work. Bill got it right. It’s community and the power of God and sharing love and truth with others that changes minds and hearts. I’m proud to be the daughter of a deceased recovering alcoholic and salute all those who’ve carried AA’s message of hope and healing.

As I go through the motions of preparing for the celebration of this holy, holiday season, I'm mindful of the men and women fighting for their very lives in the throes of addictions and of those in hospital wards seeking to slay the monster cancer. And those facing financial woes in this economy they never dreamed possible.

Life is fraught with challenge, but in all circumstances and every generation these words still ring true: "I can do all things [that need doing] through Christ who strengthens me." There is always reason for hope and victory in Jesus Christ. And sometimes Christ relies on people like AA's founders Bill and Bob and the rest of us to make it happen.

Celebrating Marriage

I believe marriage should be celebrated well, it’s such a beautiful, tender relationship. I always like for my wedding gifts to highlight how special this union is. A financial gift in a card is great, but it seems there should be something more memorable. This is what I came up with for a dear couple recently:

Dearest Melissa and Joshua,

Your wedding is so special, as are both of you, so your gifts must be too. There are several:

Three Crosses

The crosses symbolize Christ. Hopefully, at least one will match your décor. If you like them display all three to remember the Trinity, but only one is needed. This is to be a reminder of the selfless love of Christ who gave his life for you. At times you may feel you are doing a lot of sacrificing for one another. Do it with joy, following the example set before you of perfect love.

Blessing Cups

The ceramic mugs are to be used as Blessing Cups. Once a month on the ninth day, your anniversary day, you may want to use them at your evening meal. As you drink from them, tell one another the blessings you’ve experienced the past month either together or individually.

The Blessing Cups are also Healing Cups

If you should ever have an argument, be the first to take out your Healing Cups and set them on the table as a sign you want to sit down and talk. Be sure you never let the sun go down on your anger. Work out every difference of opinion when it is still little.

Ist Anniversary Dinner

The check is for your celebration of Year One. Please cash the check, but put the money in a special place to use for a lovely dinner. And always honor this special day when you joined your lives together.

Marriage Enrichment

In about a month, you’ll be receiving a collection of my two books: 52 Ways to Keep Your Promises As A Man, Husband and Father and A Woman’s Guide and 52 Ways To Choose Happiness and Fulfillment to enrich your married life.

That's it. I signed the card with love from Wayne and I. By the way, the crosses and cups came from Hobby Lobby and were beautiful but inexpensive. I love that store. Nothing wrong with buying your own Blessing Cups if you never received any. Is there anything special you typically give as gifts to celebrate a marriage? I'd like to know.

“What God has joined together let no man break apart.”

Rest in Peace – Why?

I’ve been thinking about and praying for Steve Jobs' soul ever since he passed from this life a few days ago. My respect for Steve’s accomplishments is enormous. I’ve been an “Apple person” since the first 2c and 2 e’s back in the early 80’s. I consider my treasured I-phone pure tech genius!

The customary phrase Rest in Peace keeps coming to mind – words used for the dead. I don’t wish that for Steve or for myself! Who wants to rest in peace after having an exciting, creative life? How cool to think of Steve using his supernatural abilities now to create beyond all he dreamed or imagined. My prayer is that this giant of creativity is in the presence of His Creator, the one who instilled His giftedness in Steve. For I’m hoping with all my heart Steve made life choices while on earth that connected him with Jesus. May they be surveying the world together and saying, “What if...”

Steve’s life exemplifies that imagination and creativity are priceless qualities to nurture in children. My book series Adventures of Tommy Smurlee is intended to unleash these qualities so we can have more adults like Steve running around improving human lives.

Adventures of Tommy Smurlee for ages 8 and up is available on amazon.

Proverbs 8:10
Choose my God’s instruction instead of silver, knowledge rather than choice gold.

I Will

Wayne and I were leaving the tennis court at the Landmark Resort in Door County as a little girl and her daddy approached carrying racquets. I said to the brown-eyed pixie who couldn’t have been much more than four years old, “How nice that you and Daddy get to play together on this beautiful fall day. Have lots of fun now!”

“We will!” she replied instantly. I stopped and stared. When had I last heard someone exude such confidence? I can still hear her emphasis, the perfect clarity of her reply. No doubt about it. We will. Me and Dad are out to play and fun is coming.

I loved her spontaneity and assurance. Isn’t that how we’re supposed to approach every day? We have the assurance that our mighty God has a plan for us and it’s always good. We can enter each day with enthusiasm eager to see it unfold and know we’re equipped to meet any challenge. In all things we’ve been instilled not with a spirit of fear but of power and love and a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7.

Have a great day with your awesome Dad today. I will!

"I will" reminds me of one of the prayer poetry devotionals in my latest Breathless e-book at amazon:

Fullness of Joy

Today and every day Lord, You say:

“I will be your God,

I will be your life.

Celebrate and dance,

The fullness of joy is here.”

Dear God can this be true?

A life of constant joy is pleasing to You?

Dance and twirl with joy?

What about cross-carrying and fasting?

“These too have a place,” You say,

“But they never were meant to take away joy.”

Oh Lord, laughter floods my heart,

That You would allow such delight!

The fullness of joy!

Hallelujah!

Psalm 108:1b

Soul Clothes

I was thinking today about how much focus goes into clothing our bodies. Finding garments that fit right and are within our budget, then doing the required washing, ironing, and organization. I wondered. Do I put as much energy into clothing my soul?

C.S. Lewis said that many people speak as if we’re a body with a soul, but the fact is that we’re a soul with a body. Soul came first. Our essence is within our soul and that’s what lives forever and should receive the greatest attention.

My next thought was what would I dress my soul in? I’m sure I’d choose something bright, nothing dreary or dark. Might this be my disposition, the positive attitude of faith that I choose to bring to each situation?

Then I’d like the fabric to be strong, yet have a soft texture – the demeanor of a soul that could handle buffeting by occasional disappointment or disillusionment.

I’d want a scarf of gratitude rippling round about me never missing an opportunity of praising God or thanking others.

How else could I make my soul radiant? Perhaps by zipping on a holy jacket of selfless love. I expect my zipper would get stuck now and then. Will I ever totally achieve selflessness? Probably not, but I could come a lot closer than I do.

Which leads me to two questions.

How might you clothe your soul?

And if we walked through our day viewing only the clothing on one another’s souls what would we see?

Breathless Minute Meditations For Connecting Your Heart With God’s was released this month an e-book on Kindle, Nook or I-phones. For the price of an ice cream cone or Starbucks coffee ($2.99) you can carry instant inspiration anywhere. Find it at amazon.com under Judith Rolfs.

Respectfully...

Hi Friends,

I respectfully sent two e-mails out today, one to Stericycle's President. His corporation disposes of the remains of aborted babies and another to Ryder who provides the trucks for this to happen. Kudos to Penske Trucking who will now be my truck rental of choice because they refused the contract.

What I said to Ryder is "I'd like to respectfully request that you consider not being involved with the abortion industry. I know this would be a huge financial loss for you, but God has ways of making that up when we're doing what's right in His eyes. In the past I've personally made financial sacrifices to serve God and his provision has been amazing. Perhaps, in fact, God has placed you in this position to make a statement to our country now that taking the life from unborn human beings is intolerable. I pray you'll have great wisdom as you consider the integrity of your position providing trucks for Stericycle."

I feel it's important to be respectful and aware that often people in upper management don't know every operational detail and contract that's out there. And when they do, they may have been put where they are by God to right the wrong that's before them. This is not an adversarial situation. It's the wisdom and love of God that can make humans change their minds. Now I've put the ball in their court.

These kids in the picture above were once nothing but two cells inside a sheltered womb awaiting the miracle of maturation. They're two of our seven grandchildren. I pray for all the people who have lost the blessings children like these can bring into their life.

P.S. I have a new "book baby" called Breathless Devotionals published this week on Kindle available at amazon.

Great Delight

One of my favorite Scripture verses is Zephaniah 3:17 (New International Version). “The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. 
He will take great delight in you; 
in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.”

I especially love the phrases He delights in me and rejoices over me with singing! What do people passionately desire if not to be loved unconditionally and wildly?

Can you imagine the difference it makes walking through life knowing that the eternal God, Creator of heaven and earth thinks you’re cool.

If a spouse disappoints you, God never will. If a child professes to hate you, a friend abandons you, never jump into the pit of despair. You have a layer of love over you so deep that no human hurt has the power to penetrate your core unless you allow it.

What’s not to like about knowing you’re loved like this? My heart goes out to those children and adults who walk through the difficult emotional challenges of life without knowing how deeply treasured they are by God.

I also like this verse because it accurately depicts God. From the Old Testament some get the impression that God is vengeful and harsh. Just yes, but harsh, no. Our God is an incredible lover. And a mighty warrior who protects us.

How about carrying the words of Zephaniah Chapter 3, Verse 17 in your wallet or purse because it’s worth knowing and remembering forever.

Never despair, never fear, never abandon your joy, God delights in you and, gulp, me.

Body, Mind and Spirit

What a privilege it’s been to be a marriage and family counselor for thirty years. My method has typically been to work with clients on three levels body, mind and spirit. We always examine spiritual issues. I focus on these because but often relationship, career or addiction problems are only a symptom of a deep spiritual emptiness.

For some clients my bringing up this topic is a huge surprise. They’ve never given much thought to the spiritual aspect of themselves. I may lighten the subject by asking, “Had a shower or bath recently? Read the newspaper? Great way to care for your body and your mind! What have you done for your spirit today or even this week or month?”

We have to get past the institutional religion roadblock. Often people have been hurt in church situations. God is not a religion, I explain, and I clarify that I don’t mean simply attending church an hour a week but conversation and connection with the living God. It’s amazing and gratifying to see the life transformations that happen when clients sincerely do this. My clients found these truths on their life quest when financial success and fame turns out to not give enough meaning to existence.

The truth is we all need to savor the personal presence of God. His gifts of unconditional love and eternal life can truly excite us. “If any man (or woman) be in Christ, (s)he is a new creation…”2 Cor. 5:17 Is there anything more cool than that!

Breathless Meditations can kick start your contemplation about our fascinating God. Booklets are available at www.judithrolfs.com

Fanciful Thoughts

Fanciful Thoughts

Would you like to play an imagination game? During my morning prayer time I often write mini-devotionals. Today I wrote one a bit different called Fanciful Thoughts. I have no illusion that this is extraordinary writing, but it was fun to compose. I e-mailed it to my young and adult grandchildren asking them to add a line or two or create their own collection of fanciful thoughts. Perhaps you will add a line as well.

Fanciful Thoughts

I’d like to:

Touch the center of gravity,

Ride the winds of spring,

Measure the weight of a snowfall,

Stir the insides of a tornado,

Watch the design of an unborn baby,

Play in the precision of mathematics,

Watch ideas explode inside minds.

A few words about imagination. We all have this treasure trove within us, that comes along wherever we go, and needs recharging occasionally in nature and times of solitude. Opportunities for expression help imagination grow and it thrives in an environment without stress. All ages can play, and seniors should be even better at it than youth with their history of experiences. (Although seniors sometimes forget to play imaginatively.)

You may wonder why imagination is important. What value are fanciful thoughts and actions? Playing games with thought is enervating and fulfilling and reminds us of connection to our Creator in whose image we’ve been made. Movies like Inception, creations like MAC software, and every invention on earth began as someone’s fanciful thought.

The use of imagination requires no wires, cables, it doesn’t need to be downloaded, and it’s totally free. Often children are too busy with organized activities. I urge parents to guard their time and minds for imaginative play like the beach picture above. My Adventures of Tommy Smurlee mystery fantasy books are all about helping children discover the delight of imagining. Don’t let them grow up without knowing Tommy as a friend.

Will you try a fanciful thought or two yourself today? Share it here if you like.

Favorite Christmas Memory

As a Mom I often felt like Mary in the year 1985 because many times I had to watch my son suffer. But here is a happy memory from that time. And it's a favorite Christmas memory. Let me know what's yours.

December 25^th, 1985 we arrived around nine at Lakeland Nursing Home with song sheets and home-made gifts and cards. It had been our custom for more than ten years, since our children were toddlers, to visit residents in the quiet of Christmas morning even though we didn’t have family there. Wayne and I wanted our four to experience the joy of ministering to others. But in 1985 our eighteen-year-old son David had overslept. He’d been treated for lymphoma since October, was mobile, but fragile. We left him home in bed.

As we worked our way down from the top floor, I’ll never forget stepping from the elevator and seeing David with a semi-circle of silver haired ladies listening attentively to his reading of the Night Before Christmas. He’d driven over late rather than miss. I paused as my mother’s heart took a leap, then closed my eyes and prayed, Lord may our precious son’s life continue. The very next week David was hit by a drunk driver while jogging and his leg was shattered. It would seem our prayers had not been answered, but we clung to faith.

After several leg surgeries with cancer raging through David’s body, a new experimental procedure at UW-Madison Hospital, bone marrow transplant, was suggested and ultimately succeeded.

David and his wife, Kathy and their six-year-old twins, Joshua and Anna, will soon visit us from Florida and Christmas morning we’ll be at another nursing home with his brother Dan and wife, Stephanie, to continue our legacy of bringing Christmas joy to God’s precious elderly. We’ll celebrate Jesus, for in Him, and through Him all things are possible.

Blessed Christmas everyone!