Monday, January 26, 2015

Marriage Matters

Wayne and I were in Fort Pierce, Florida trying to collect information on a former boss with whom he’d lost contact. We discovered he lived to be ninety-seven and the obit said he and his wife “had a beautiful marriage for sixty-six years.

I knew him during a time when their relationship wasn’t problem-free, but forgiveness and vulnerability and commitment restored it and made it beautiful. I was delighted to learn they made it to the victory lap.

As a marriage and family counselor for many decades I’m always interested in principles to help marriages stay strong. I recently heard the pastor of Calvary Chapel in Fort Lauderdale say the key can be summed up in two words no secrets - total honesty. Truth-telling requires being emotionally vulnerable, opening your heart wide and only to your spouse.

A few days ago I heard from a woman who gave my women’s book now titled Loving Every Minute, 52 Ways to Live, Laugh & Love As A Woman to a female relative. She said the principles in it saved her marriage. This was more than a little thrilling to hear. Man in Command is the corollary book for men with principles to keep the family connection strong.

Wayne and I are fifty-two years into this thing called love and my advice to couples is hang in there for the long haul. It’s so worth it when you can share the memories of a lifetime together.

Don’t give up the joys of a lasting marriage for a momentary infatuation, sexual thrills or because you have personal struggles needing to be resolved. Ask for help from a pastor, a mature couple at church, read some helpful material, seek out counseling or do all of the above. Pray together even if you don’t feel like it - that's powerful too.

You can fall in love over and over again with the same person!!!

1 Peter Chapter 3 contains everything you need to know about love and respect for your spouse.