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Dr. Judith Rolfs, Writer, Marriage & Family Counselor, Wife, Mom and Grandmom
Thursday, November 28, 2019
Saturday, November 23, 2019
Love Never Fails
Ramblings About Love
Interacting with others through love is the key. Jesus was not a man for others, He was one with them and there is a huge difference in that. The unfathomable work of God is accomplished if we are loving and obedient in the smallest aspects of the doings He allows us to participate in.
I have counseled divorced, broken men and women and seen divorced men and women who became whole. I have worked with alcohol and drug addicts, individuals experimenting with homosexual behavior, suicidal clients, every form of emotional pain and relational dysfunction. In fact, I don’t think there’s anything I have not experienced in my years of counseling. One conclusion I have come to is that everyone, every day, is looking for a fix and that fix is love.
Each of us wants to know that God made us lovable just as we are and that we are good, yes good enough. My message is to seek His truth and reason and never abandon hope.
As a counselor I’m privileged to be a hope-giver. This requires connection without judgment. I do not judge others no matter what they tell me, and the wonder of this is that then the walls between us crumble and we can have honest conversations and work through them. We actually enrich one another which is the ultimate goal of all words that are shared.
I’m willing to express my deeply felt words that I know to be true with others (yes even my grandchildren and nephew in this picture), even if it means making myself vulnerable. I’m hopeful, but I’m not looking for results only giving honest words spoken with a tender heart. This is how I have counseled men and women and children, sharing what I’ve found in God’s Word about living that works.
Family is also important - I initially called my work Fantastic Family Ministry. Family makes you strong in the sense that you know you have a foothold somewhere. You belong someplace and the people in that place care not just whether you live or die but care about the details of your life. This is why it’s so sad for children and adults who never experienced the sense of family. Family can give you confidence and hope. Another thing that makes you very strong is hope.
Don't you like this quote by Emily Dickinson, “Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul, that sings the song without the words and never steps at all.” Say that out loud a couple of times. These very special words sound like music when spoken aloud and the words themselves uplift my soul.
The words of Psalm 23 scream out for our full attention. “Truly the Lord is my shepherd. There is nothing I shall want.” Is this really true - can He be enough? Having lived a lifetime with Him, I know it’s rock solid truth. Jesus is enough for my soul and every soul He has created. Should all material things cease, our souls shall live on forever. Because He is my shepherd I truly feel my worth and it is forever well with my soul. May it be well with your soul today and every day.
Belden Lane the theologian said, “Divine Love is incessantly restless until it turns all woundedness into health, all deformity into beauty and all embarrassment into laughter!”
Don't Miss my Nov. 30th Angelus Gift Shop Walworth, WI Book Signing during their fun Christmas Event, Horse drawn carriage rides and refreshments. 1 pm.
It's not too late to make reservations for Milwaukee SuburbanChristian Women's Connection Events at Davian's in Menominee Falls and two other locations in Sheboygan. Dec. 16th and Dec. 17th. Call Lois 262-251-3841 The title of my talk is Stages From the Heart To the Page.
Monday, November 4, 2019
Family Legacy
Omigosh, another birthday this past week! The years roll by so quickly. On my birthday I like to do something special to honor my mother. After all, my birthday would not have been possible without her!
To honor Mom while she was still alive I once sent her a bouquet of a dozen roses. She was surprised and shocked. Why had I done this? In my card I expressed my gratitude to her for giving me the gift of life. Not all moms-to-be are willing to make this sacrifice.
Not all my memories of my mom were happy, she was an alcoholic for many of my growing up and early adulthood years, but I can always dig deep for some good moments. I believe that the Fourth Commandment doesn’t say only honor your father and mother if they were always good to you and sterling role models. Honor is always deserved for the giving and nurturing of our lives.
Of course I don’t discount the part dads have in the creation of a baby, but not like moms who go through bodily distortion and discomfort. Also, they usually bear the brunt of midnight feedings and non-stop care for infants and toddlers.
This year when the family came to celebrate with me after our meal and singing Happy Birthday I suggested we play Bingo in honor of Grandma, one of my mom’s favorite games. I had purchased a nice black metal set at Good Will and grandson Joshua, then my son Dan read off the numbers. Prizes were candy bars. We had lots of laughter and fun playing for about an hour.
Who else should I honor on my birthday? My Creator, of course. How extraordinary that I and none other should be designed to be me! How to express my gratitude?
To thank God I wrote this note to Him on my birthday. Heavenly Father, how awesome that I am your daughter. I’m in awe of this gift of a lifetime You extend goodness and love to me. Thank you for the family you chose for me. I’m grateful You’ve always been available to me through the challenges of my growing years. I’m forever grateful for Your wisdom and grace. May I please you immensely with the way I move through my days honoring You in every choice I make. I can say Happy Birthday to me today, only because of You.
How about you? What thoughts do birthdays stir in you?
Speaking/Writing Events
Book Signing at Angelus Gift Shop in Walworth the Saturday after Thanksgiving. It’s a great time to purchase your autographed Christmas gift books. Nov. 30th 1-2 p.m.
Your prayers are appreciated for Christian Women’s Connection three events at Menominee Falls and Sheboygan Dec.16-18th.
I'm in intense writing mode completing my Tommy Smurlee mystery fantasy series Books 3 and 4 for children ages nine and up. I’m become very fond of these characters Tommy, Grella, Piney, Blake and Quid. It’s fun spending my days “with them.”
My Featured Books This Month: Man in Command (How To Be A Great Husband and Dad)http://amzn.to/1zMzrSK and Loving Every Minute (How to Live, Laugh and Love as a Wife and Mom). http://amzn.to/1mhOCgB http://amzn.to/1mhOCgB
These are must-own books packed with great ideas for doing life in a grand way, emotionally, physically and spiritually for men and women.
Happy Everyday!
May every child and adult know the supernatural reality of God,
the ever present source of love and power in their lives.
Psalm 139: 13-16
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
Saturday, October 12, 2019
Memories and Mystery
Isn’t it amazing how memories live on! They are precious and create a mental and an emotional reality within us. This has comforted me through two funerals of good friends this past month.
Even more than memories, the essence of a truly beloved person remains with us after death. They’re etched in our pores. Their way of viewing the world, the style of their movement and way of responding to the circumstances of life - this ongoing essence is our gift.
A mystery of thought and feeling intertwines as we remember, sometimes even dream of, the person who’s gone on ahead. Death is merely like night without morning to us who remain earth walkers, but it’s eternal sunrise to the deceased.
Much as we don’t need to overly dwell on this, it’s helpful to occasionally acknowledge that we are all terminal. Full awareness of the brevity of life makes us live braver and richer with appreciation for every day. Don’t you agree?
Psalm 90:12 New Living Translation (NLT) “ Teach us to realize the brevity of life, so that we may grow in wisdom.”
The Presence of God This Fall
We all can experience the presence of God often. He shows Himself to us in family moments of extreme joy or anguish. When we see His face reflected in the kindness of others, we are witnessing Him in human compassion. I find Him easily in the beauty of His creation, like during our fall trip to Door County recently, an annual delight.
As leaves scatter about and seasons change, may you experience God afresh in your life.
*****
WRITING/SPEAKING UPDATE
For you Kindle readers, all through the month of October my suspense novel Directive 99 is on sale (.99 eBook regularly $7.99). Don’t miss out if you haven’t read this timely, almost prophetic story about Jennifer Trevor, an ambitious career woman, who holds enormous power. She’s about to promote a secret directive that will cause the death of millions.
October 21st I’m attending a gathering for a book club reading my mystery novel, The Windemere Affair. It’s always a joy to meet readers personally!
September thru November I’m privileged to facilitate a Christian Writing Ministry Workshop for about twenty men and women who want to be authors. Hoping to leave a legacy of Christian writers behind me.
I appreciate your prayers for four speaking events in November and December for Christian Women’s Connection Events in Milwaukee and Sheboygan. Teams of dedicated women are already hard at work planning these gatherings.
*****
In the picture above with me: our adult daughter Pam and two grandchildren following their amazing band concert this past week.
Sunday, April 14, 2019
Refreshing Relationships
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Saturday, March 23, 2019
Beautiful Springtime
Come quickly beautiful springtime!
Enjoying a few more weeks of vacation and writing time with my honey in Venice Florida before our exodus back to the Midwest. Can’t wait to get my garden-gloved hands into our black dirt to plant impatiens and watch our sturdy perennials miraculously break through the hardened, crusty ground. The very thought delights me.
I think back to the first time I marveled at the new life process that happens every spring. My soul was hard and crusty too. I rarely went to church and, when I did, I endured rather than enjoyed as I do now.
After fourteen years in Catholic schools, my “faith” was a routine, meaningless ritual. Nothing personal or vibrant about it. If asked, I’d label myself an agnostic.
Then, I attended a Christian retreat, a Cursillo, to have a getaway weekend with girlfriends who were my neighbors. Nothing huge spiritually happened to me there, but looking back I see it as a catalyst. When I came home I was curious about God and began reading Christian books and studied the Bible for the first time, especially the passages about the presence of the Holy Spirit in the world today.
I wish I had words to explain my transformation better! Study enabled me to know God, to experience Jesus and to interact with prayer, soul talk with God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. For the first time, I knew for sure God was real and PERSONSAL, not a distant deity.
Life with Him became exciting and more. As an insecure child of alcoholic parents – I finally could live without fears and worry. The peace of God that passes understanding was mine (Philippians 4:7), and the joy – the joy of the Lord is my strength (Nehemiah 8:10) - lasts through whatever happens in my life. I am never alone. He is a real and present help in every circumstance.
Ever since, for fifty years now, I view spring as a beautiful symbol and a reminder. Living with personal connection to God is a beautiful gift to be celebrated all year long and just like spring, it’s there for each one of us.
MY WRITING UPDATE:
Soon after my return, I have eight speaking/book signing events in northern Wisconsin and Springfield, Illinois areas. I keep talking about retiring. Every time I think that I will stop working I get a delightful letter from a reader telling me how his or her life has been impacted by a message in one of my books. Plus, some of this writing work is just so much fun. I will be on a radio show April 15th Friday hosted by Andrea Boeshaar.
You see writing a novel is no longer enough – an author must be very active in getting the word out that the mystery novel is available. And seek reviews. Future readers rely on them before selecting books to purchase.
If any of you dear readers would be kind enough to leave an honest review for any of my books you have already read, I would be extremely grateful. You’d be so kind to take ten minutes of your valuable time to do this on amazon by going to my book page and scrolling down to review. Thank you!!!
Things have changed so dramatically since my first print book was published in 1985 when my Tyndale publisher had a full-time publicist and team of marketing professionals and sales staff to get my books into national bookstores. The publicist set up my TV and radio appearances. Now we writers must do it all. I even make my own YouTube’s and video trailers. Fortunately, I do love to learn and I’ve met some delightful fellow authors traversing this new path of social media with me.
I have another fun mystery in the works for adults and one for children I only need the discipline and diligence necessary to complete them God willing.
My Star Bright Award goes to Joann McLuen in Ocala, Florida for starting her new book club– they’ll read one of my four mystery novels each month and use the Discussion Questions available for each novel. (Email me if you need a copy of the questions for any novel.)
Directive 99 continues to be my best-selling suspense novel, probably because the message is so timely for today. If you haven’t read it, you can download it on Kindle Unlimited if you’re a member and read it for free. Or order the print version of Directive 99 through amazon. Click here.
This lovely verse, Proverbs 3, 3-4 seems appropriate for today: “Let not mercy and truth forsake you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart, and so find favor and high esteem in the sight of God and man.” Truth and mercy each of us can write!
Happy Spring!!!
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